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You are not being asked simply to trust that your partner will obey your mutually established rules, but instead to trust in your mutually established love. Trust that a casual tryst will not threaten your love. Trust that a new partner is truly an addition and not a replacement. Trust that even as a secondary or tertiary lover, you are still cared for and respected. Couples in the lifestyle who wish to start families or have additional children are highly recommended to cease participation in swinging for at least several months prior to an intended pregnancy.
Overall, when it comes to swinging, there needs to be a firm foundation of consent and willingness to update the policy if one partner feels out of step. Although partners might go their separate ways, says Baldwin, the underlying intention is generally a feeling of shared turn-on or aliveness that somehow fuels more fire into the partnership. That said, people in the lifestyle can be solo as well, says intimacy expert Susan Bratton. And they often gather at public or private parties (which used to be called "key parties") that are hosted in rental homes, resorts, or even cruise ships .
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But when people think of non-monogamy, their minds go to one place - fast. As Adult Swingers, we live in South Florida and are blessed with a variety of clubs to choose from. We have six clubs within a thirty-minute drive and each club is packed full of people every Saturday night.
You can do all the Internet research you want, but you’re not going to really understand what it’s like to be in a swinging environment until you’ve been there. Your first time, it’s typically a good idea to just go and see how things unfold. Then, if it’s something you’re into, figure out how you fit in and go back. Make all your rules, and see where it goes from there. Spending all week fantasizing about a threesome, getting to the point where it’ll actually happen, and then realizing you drank too much to do anything about it.
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Have had a talk...or 50 of them, and you both are on board with the concept of getting intimate with other people. Prepare yourself for communicating more than you did when you were monogamous. "Things become a bit more complex when we allow more people into our intimate, energetic space," says Baldwin.
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Another way to preserve your relationship is to set the rules with your partner beforehand. Blurred lines and assumptions make one stunning recipe for disaster. Arguments will be bound to arise once jealousy rears its ugly head.
We spoke to a dozen marriage counselors about the lifestyle, and not one of them said don't do it. Most said consenting adults will do what consenting adults do. Gould then spent three years researching the lifestyle and the people who swing. She heard about it from a girlfriend and was intrigued.
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Just like shooting hoops or baking a cake, it is something that you can do alone, with your partner, and with others. More information For support, content removal, content reports, terms of service and more, visit this page. In most swingers' clubs, condoms are freely available and sometimes the club may require their use. Swingers may reduce the risk of STI by exchanging STI test results and serosorting.
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"Our eye-opening experience, was 'wow, there are actually other people like us,' " Bob said. "No. It's made us much stronger over the years," said Bob. "Just 'cause we are attracted to other people, doesn't mean that we don't love each other." The quiz is designed to help you as a couple communicate better about your intimate fantasies . You're also going to hear a story of how one woman used them to overcome a potential divorce and make her marriage stronger and more passionate than she ever thought possible. Other women becoming jealous of your relationship and how your man treats you.